About this time last year, I entered a cloud of loneliness in friendships that often left me begging Nick to explain to me why I felt like I was 'too much' for everyone around me. My closest friends were and have remained the people I met in grade school, high school, and college. There are a handful of exceptions-- and to those fierce women-- I am so grateful. 

But last year, all I could see in front of me was the time I spent with other people who I just couldn't totally click with. Everything about us was congruent on the surface but I felt like I was holding myself back and just couldn't sink in to a genuine friendship. Then, I took the Enneagram and as trite as it sounds, my perspective shifted and the clouds literally parted. 

We decided to become foster parents because we knew there were kids needing homes and families needing support. We did not become foster parents because we were seeking heartbreak, looking to struggle with intense trauma, or become more wholly aware of generational challenges. But, here we are. We’re here because we feel called, we know it’s needed, and dammit, we signed up for this.
 
So how does reunification actually feel? It's as painful as people assume and more revealing of God's blessings than you'd ever guess.

It's basically a rollercoaster of every emotion ever. 
 
Here's my list of all the feels...

When I think about women’s health and postpartum health, the first things I think about are pelvic health, hormone balance, and mental health maintenance.
 
When you Google women’s health and postpartum health, headlines nearly always only point to mental health factors. There’s probably a lot of positive things to be said for this focus as mental health is still often put on the back burner, but I would argue that we’re forgetting the realities of the rest of our bodies.
 
When women age, have babies, and go through all the hormonal changes associated with the female life, a lot can shift. 
 
I recently met the folks at Tempe’s Desert Wellness Center and was so encouraged by their approach toward women’s health. I took some time earlier this month to talk with Dr. Barbara Ezrre. Our Q/A is below. 

We're officially a million years into a case without a concrete timeline. I know there's nothing new to our struggle over here at the Zehring household. Anyone who's been in a period of waiting-- for a pregnancy, for wellness, for finality in a foster care case, for closure in a relationship-- knows that the limbo period is the worst. We also know, or at least many of us could say that this place of in-between is also where the growth happens. 

All of this is true and Nick and I know this in our hearts, but it just doesn't make it easier.

So here I am, writing this all out and asking myself: in this space of foster parenting (insert all other challenges) how do we navigate the most fundamental part of this journey without becoming overwhelming inward focused and negative? 

I just launched this beautiful mug-- and another in the original font-- and I couldn't be more thrilled to share this in my shop. If there's anything consistent about me and who I am, it is my love of coffee. 

Coffee fueled my romance novel reading in High School, thesis writing in College, long hours at the office when I worked in politics, gave me an easy date night, and now gives me the energy I need to parent. 

If you're looking for something fun for your Christmas Blend coffee this holiday season or an easy stocking stuffer, look no further! Click the link below to shop!